[ As bad as Atsumu's mood may be right now, at least Amos does not have to worry about having to take care of him in the deep sort of depression that Gen found himself in. He's listless and moody feeling, but he's still sleeping a normal amount (maybe even a little less these days, slightly paranoid after that long slumber), and eating just fine. His brother, the one currently hanging in a protected case around his neck, would chew him out something fierce if he knew Atsumu was skipping meals anyway.
But he is still depressed, and that promise to not go anywhere might mean more if he actually felt like Amos had any way to keep it. Yima hadn't planned to go anywhere either, neither had Rin, and yet...
It's funny, because he doesn't even know about Gray's disappearance yet, and it'll surprise him how hard it still manages to hit him when he finally learns about it.
He's uncharacteristically quiet for a moment though, before sighing and flinging himself dramatically back against the couch, eyes narrowing at the ceiling. ]
I mean... ain't something up for everyone? Ain't it been up this whole time since we came here?
[ That Atsumu is still physically well — normal, by all accounts Amos is familiar with — is what made this development particularly out of the blue for him. He hadn't known anything was off until, well, now. Should he have noticed?
... Maybe? But depression is a new one for a guy who takes everything negative he's feeling and stuffs it down, never again to see the light of day. Unless something big or plentiful enough were to overload that defence mechanism and have it all come erupting out, but... nah.
Atsumu is off for some reason, and he wants to fix that, so. Here he is. He's gonna fix it. ]
Not really. [ Amos' voice is plain, a blank slate of nothing as he shifts to get a better look back at Atsumu. ] Nothing's up for me. Couldn't tell you when the last time anything was.
[ Well, he probably could if he really thought about it, but he isn't going to do that. Instead, his voice softens. ]
[ Makes sense for a guy like Amos, who has always been handy with machines. It's nice to be able to identify the problem and know what parts need replacing or repairing, though in this case it's probably not that easy. Atsumu didn't come from a situation where he had years upon years of mounting trauma the way others have, and that's strangely made him more fragile and vulnerable than some in a way. He's had to learn to develop coping mechanisms he never needed before, and there's a lot of growing pains that come with that.
The confession shouldn't surprise Atsumu, given how Amos generally is. He knows that there's something more under all that, because otherwise he doubts Amos would have lashed out at him at that spooky carnival they all got stuck in for a bit. He's not looking to pry into that, or insist that surely underneath all that chill going and vibing that Amos have some dark, nasty part of himself!!
Because that doesn't help.
But he's not sure talking will either. It might, but like any teenager it doesn't feel like it's going to fix anything at all. So Atsumu says the first thing that comes to his mind, as useless as that thing is to helping Amos understand him. ]
Everything sucks.
[ He keep his head lolled back onto the back of the couch, but closes his eyes now, brows furrowed as he lets the sadness at least take backstage to agitation for a second. Anger isn't exactly healthy for someone either, but the feeling is a lot more comfortable for Atsumu. At least that is easier to direct out at external forces. ]
this isn't the real reason he made sure he'd never have kids, but it's a retroactive one now
And yet Amos is committed, so he has to see this through. Seeing it through starts off with blank, confused silence as he watches Atsumu lean back, like he's being shut out. His brow furrows. He shifts further to be able to look behind him, at where Atsumu's head is now resting, eyes closed and as far as he can tell, shutting out the rest of the world.
Amos stares, and then he turns on a light.
A single orb of light floats in front of them courtesy of his dancing lights spell, and Amos doesn't know if that's enough to catch Atsumu's attention behind his closed eyes, but fuck it, he figures it was necessary. No more wallowing in the dark. He likes the dark just fine — more, since he embraced Zenith in full — but there are limits, and this is one of them. ]
Well, I don't got anywhere to be. [ If Atsumu does open his eyes, he will find Amos staring expectantly at him. ] You can start listing off "everything" any time now.
[ Amos really is being a champ here and trying his best despite Atsumu really having a full teenager moment here. He's not angry at Amos, but he doesn't exactly have parental figures to talk this out with, given the closest thing he has to an older person willing to give him advise is Silco (bad idea to go to him) and Amos himself.
At one point he had Yima too, but...
With some reluctance Atsumu does open his eyes, but he doesn't look at the light source Amos made, instead choosing to stare up at the ceiling instead. ]
No matter what anyone ways, it ain't the same without Yima here... She is the reason a lotta us are even here in the first place.
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no subject
But he is still depressed, and that promise to not go anywhere might mean more if he actually felt like Amos had any way to keep it. Yima hadn't planned to go anywhere either, neither had Rin, and yet...
It's funny, because he doesn't even know about Gray's disappearance yet, and it'll surprise him how hard it still manages to hit him when he finally learns about it.
He's uncharacteristically quiet for a moment though, before sighing and flinging himself dramatically back against the couch, eyes narrowing at the ceiling. ]
I mean... ain't something up for everyone? Ain't it been up this whole time since we came here?
no subject
... Maybe? But depression is a new one for a guy who takes everything negative he's feeling and stuffs it down, never again to see the light of day. Unless something big or plentiful enough were to overload that defence mechanism and have it all come erupting out, but... nah.
Atsumu is off for some reason, and he wants to fix that, so. Here he is. He's gonna fix it. ]
Not really. [ Amos' voice is plain, a blank slate of nothing as he shifts to get a better look back at Atsumu. ] Nothing's up for me. Couldn't tell you when the last time anything was.
[ Well, he probably could if he really thought about it, but he isn't going to do that. Instead, his voice softens. ]
Tell me what's up for you? Maybe I can help.
no subject
The confession shouldn't surprise Atsumu, given how Amos generally is. He knows that there's something more under all that, because otherwise he doubts Amos would have lashed out at him at that spooky carnival they all got stuck in for a bit. He's not looking to pry into that, or insist that surely underneath all that chill going and vibing that Amos have some dark, nasty part of himself!!
Because that doesn't help.
But he's not sure talking will either. It might, but like any teenager it doesn't feel like it's going to fix anything at all. So Atsumu says the first thing that comes to his mind, as useless as that thing is to helping Amos understand him. ]
Everything sucks.
[ He keep his head lolled back onto the back of the couch, but closes his eyes now, brows furrowed as he lets the sadness at least take backstage to agitation for a second. Anger isn't exactly healthy for someone either, but the feeling is a lot more comfortable for Atsumu. At least that is easier to direct out at external forces. ]
no subject
what is he supposed to do with that
this isn't the real reason he made sure he'd never have kids, but it's a retroactive one now
And yet Amos is committed, so he has to see this through. Seeing it through starts off with blank, confused silence as he watches Atsumu lean back, like he's being shut out. His brow furrows. He shifts further to be able to look behind him, at where Atsumu's head is now resting, eyes closed and as far as he can tell, shutting out the rest of the world.
Amos stares, and then he turns on a light.
A single orb of light floats in front of them courtesy of his dancing lights spell, and Amos doesn't know if that's enough to catch Atsumu's attention behind his closed eyes, but fuck it, he figures it was necessary. No more wallowing in the dark. He likes the dark just fine — more, since he embraced Zenith in full — but there are limits, and this is one of them. ]
Well, I don't got anywhere to be. [ If Atsumu does open his eyes, he will find Amos staring expectantly at him. ] You can start listing off "everything" any time now.
no subject
At one point he had Yima too, but...
With some reluctance Atsumu does open his eyes, but he doesn't look at the light source Amos made, instead choosing to stare up at the ceiling instead. ]
No matter what anyone ways, it ain't the same without Yima here... She is the reason a lotta us are even here in the first place.